TCR Competition Winner - Jerome

I've been debating with myself as to whether I should write this or not, I think the fact that it gives me anxiety to be so vulnerable is more reason to be just that. On paper I am your definition of an alpha-male, I'm a 29 year old black male, straight, well educated, Nigerian heritage but born and raised in East London. I'm sure you are already building a mental image of who you think I am, and maybe that image is close to accurate, but maybe it isn't.

A month ago I would have proudly added 'man's-man' as part of my introduction, but over the past 3 weeks I've been forced to ask myself what that even means. I came across The Cherry Revolution on my explore page, it was an advert for your Death to faking it t-shirt - the slogan made me smirk but what grabbed my attention was the caption, you had written about premature penetration.

At first I thought this page was just specifically for women but on further reading I could tell it was information that would be useful to a lot of straight men out there. Never before had I heard of premature penetration or even thought there could be such a thing - I guess this speaks volumes in itself. Before this I had always considered myself a good, considerate lover but what I was reading here unfortunately described the way I have been having sex since the age of 13. 

I reluctantly started going through the feed and had my eyes opened to some harsh truths about my masculinity. Had I not found that ad I would not have had to think about some of the sexist misogynistic views that I also subconsciously projected. I can't explain to you how uncomfortable it has been, especially because I have been in a loving relationship for almost four years now but realised we had never spoken about a lot of the important things.

I showed my girlfriend some of your posts and she was beaming at the fact that someone had managed to put into words things she had felt for years but didn't know how to articulate. Maybe this is a movement that wasn't even created for me but regardless, you have helped me start to look at my intimate self, my spiritual self, my human self and my masculine self.

I'm still not completely comfortable enough to share my full name and face but please know you have encouraged me to share what actually matters. I guess I'm saying Death to toxic masculinity, Death to misinformation, Death to smoke and mirrors. For me this is as real as it gets, keep inspiring! Blessings. 

- Jerome

1 comment


This was such a lovely piece. Shows so much awareness.

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